Sunday, May 17, 2009

one of those days

so i've been going back and forth with whether or not to blog about this. not because i don't want to talk about it, but i know most of our visitors come to c&p while they are at work and need a break or want to giggle and not think about debbie downer subjects. but, as i reminded myself, we started this blog to talk about LIFE and well, in life, sometimes... you-know-what happens.

it was about a month ago. i woke up late and was rushing downstairs to scramble some egg beaters and i quickly noticed i heard NOTHING from my right ear. (*note- this is not a story about me losing my hearing. but it adds to the drama for sure.) my balance and head and just about everything was so off. so i was running late, hearing-impaired for no apparent reason, wasn't paying attention and ended up tripping in the shower, bruising the back of my leg like you wouldn't believe. then i start putting on my make-up and just dropped my palette 'o eye shadows, breaking ALL SIX OF THEM and making this huge mess on my bathroom floor that i have absolutely no time to clean up. clearly worse things have occurred, but let's all agree that it just wasn't the greatest way to start a week. and after driving 20 minutes to my office where i was constantly swallowing, holding my nose and blowing, jerking my head down to the right like my life depended on it- having NO escape from the clogged ear- i got out of my car and decided it was just one of those days and i was going to be in a bad mood about it all.

you can imagine how overwhelmingly thrilled i was when i walk into my office and hear from my co-worker that our bosses were on their way over to meet with us. super. looooooong sales meeting staring us in the face... guess i now won't have my monday am ritual of going through all the weekend pictures posted by my facebook friends.

long story short... after the meeting, i leave to run a quick errand and my boss follows me out and he tells me he hates what he's about to do, but he has to lay me off. (i'm having to read his lips the entire time because i still cannot hear, mind you...)

yep. it's one of those days for sure.

i kinda look at him funny and say, "ok? what happens now?" he starts in on how sorry he is and here is how i'll be paid out and insurance this and sign here that and nothing is really computing in my brain because as he is talking, all i'm thinking is- the carpet has officially been pulled out from under me and i have absolutely no control over this situation.

i gave him a hug and told him i still needed to run this errand and would be back to get my things. i walked to my car, got in, sat there, and the first thing that came to mind was this. i know, i know, of all things a person's BLOG was what i immediately thought of. you must read this story if you haven't already, but the jist of it is about this precious woman who goes in for a sonogram for her fourth child and instead of hearing her little girl's heartbeat, she hears that her baby is ill beyond repair and will not live.

talk about one of those days.

and in the face of unbearable pain and disappointment, she heard this diagnosis from the doctor and simply says, over and over again, "i think that my Jesus is the same as He was before i walked into this room. He's no different... He's no different." that is the quote that came to my mind as i sat in my car and had to choose. was it going to be one of those days where everything went wrong and nothing is fair and my attitude will be that of bitterness and anger... OR... or is today going to be one of those days. one of those days i'm thrown a curve ball and have the opportunity to choose to believe that nothing is bigger than the Creator of days and the cry of my heart is to trust and love Him now more than ever?

one of those days or one of those days. it's our choice.

lct and i got the whole idea for cankles and petikei because no one told us what real life is really like. you graduate from college and think, "this is going to be a cinch! let the good times roll!" instead you are almost immediately thrown into this massive game of tackle football where getting the wind knocked out of you isn't so much a rare occurrence as it is the norm.

i'm happy and humbled to report that in the middle of my fourth quarter a month or so ago, my God came to me in the instant i called out to Him, met me where i was, and allowed me to experience His peace and comfort like never before.

and i say fourth quarter because as i am now in my late twenties, i feel like a new game has GOT to be about ready to start, right?! :) and as i get pumped up for it, i feel more prepared and more equipped than ever before... and i believe it is because of all this training i've experienced in the form of those days. they seem to make all the difference in the world.

Thank You, Jesus.

(thank you, Jesus, also for friday night lights, the greatest tv show ever, that never fails in giving me perfect life analogies right when i need them. thank you also for police cars. i know tripp black thanked you for those last night before dinner, but i thought they could probably use another shout out. amen.)


Vicki said...

Sweet thing, there are hard days for sure but I love your perspective. You make choices while you wait for the rainbow at the end of the storm. I don't remember where I heard or read this, but it is a great comfort to me when I'm trying to choose joy on the tough days. Some times God calms the storm, other times he lets the storms rage and He calms the child. In the end, God.

JenandRob said...

i love you sem!

Kimberly Jordan and Sophie said...

LOVE that i found your blog! And am a big fan of this post! In what is so much easier said than put things in some much needed, albeit tough perspective on a suredly crummy, crummy day. Hope your week has improved, lady ;). p.s. i will def. be blog stalking you now!!!

Summer, Justin, Blake, and Sutton said...

why am i just now finding this blog?

Summer, Justin, Blake, and Sutton said...

p.s. just had a chance to read this whole post ... loved it. praying for you my friend ... i'm sure an even better job is right around the corner.

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