no you're not, no you're not, no you're not

it was a good run. i successfully dodged the incessant "you don't watch american idol?!?!?" ghats from friends, family, and strangers on the street for the past five years, but have finally given in and started watching again. don't get me wrong- i love the show and will always remember where i was the night kelly clarkson clinched victory and belted "a moment like this" with confetti fluttering around her, knowing the world would no longer be the same for any of us. then before i realized it, we were on to another season and it was no longer a fun, tuesday evening chuckle, but a freaking four-hour minimum weekly commitment. so being the trailblazer that i am, i bucked up against the fox's mind-melting, brain-hypnotizing, life-monopolizing powers-that-be and quit watching just to spite them.

but petikei and ellen have pulled me back in and i have got to say with utmost sincerity that i have missed simon cowell and life is better with him in it. he makes me laugh almost as much as tracy morgan. i love how he gets so annoyed and has no patience for any of this, even though he's getting paid $2,100 a second for sitting in a chair and drinking coke for days on end. he is the whole package and in honor of me re-joining society, i am posting my favorite moment with him so far. his british accent and out of control analogies could not be more spot on and hilarious and i love him.