my new normal

maybe it's time to put some words to my experience in new york thus far. (warning: this post might not have any pictures.)

i have been here a month now and so there's definitely been enough that has taken place to comment on. basically i'm having the time of my life. daniel is here and i get to do crazy things like have dinner with him every day. when he says he's going into his office, i know where he's going because i've seen it and could get there in 20 minutes if i needed to. his friends are becoming my friends and i love them. we've even gotten over our witching hour that would come every weekday when we'd meet up around 6pm and come close to having a fist fight for no good reason. the lesson has been learned that he needs some time to "unwind" and i need to not expect a parade fanfare right off the bat. so expectations have been shifted and 6pm is now full of peace and delightfulness. (wine and or margaritas have also been of helpful assistance.)

the city in itself is amazing and getting around on foot, bus, subway or cab is becoming easier every day. the weather is nice, the things i'm exposed to are incredible (except that one time i stepped on the homeless man laying on the street) and everyday i wake up so excited about what the next 24 hours will hold. it's all so good and i'm so thankful. however...

i think it's worth noting that not all of it is exactly perfect. a lot of times when i look at blogs or facebook albums or 140-character tweets, i sometimes struggle, being led to believe that whomever i'm stalking at the moment has a flawless life and got to where they are with no hardship or effort. everything seems seamless for them and i feel like a big, fat failure. (note: this problem is my own, not the lovely people who post about the fun things going on in their lives. you feelin' me?)

so i just still haven't found a job. i interview all the time and nothing has come up. and in the spirit of boot strap pick up, i'm going to start hostessing at a resturant here until the right permanent position comes along. not exactly what i planned, but i can either pout about it or look at it as a blessing. you see, the thing that is hitting me is that there's always going to be something. before my move to new york, i was whining about not being able to find a guy that i connected to and or would ever want to commit to and where is MY knight in shining armor?! the Lord has now graciously provided that in an abundant way and the first thing i do is start complaining that i'm not working at the right place or living in the right neighborhood and i'm having to use all this PATIENCE crap again and why meeeee?? why isn't it all instantly working out like i thought it would in my head??? ughhhhhhhhhh!! spiral spiral spiral.

i hope i'm getting to the point of finally learning that my life will never play out like i think it will. and that's ok. in fact it's better because that's when i must rely on a little thing some like to call faith. and i always say i want a life of faith, so um, actually pursuing it in my day to day issues and decisions is the only way i'm going to get it. funny how that works. trying to make everything look the way i think it should or like how it's worked for someone else is taking away creative license from the Creator of all of it in the first place and don't you love the thought of being 80 years old, rocking on your porch, thinking back over your life with a huge grin on your face thinking "only He could have made all that up"?!

the best part about all of it is that i've been typing this entire post on my laptop... sipping hot tea... in the middle of the afternoon... at an east village coffee shop. are carrie bradshaw and i the same person yet? have to be getting close. and in other news: i have been working my fingers to the bone, trying to put together a picture montage of my first month here and it keeps freezing up! i have no clue what the deal is, but i will get this posted, if it puts me into an early grave or not. be looking forward to it...

until then, here's to faithful hearts, barista pranks and rocking in those rocking chairs... xo, sem