what do you think it says about me that wham's classic holiday hit "last christmas" is my favorite song during the month of december?
regardless, it just occurred to me as i was driving around with it on repeat this morning that i have never seen the music video for this song. this is a shocking revelation because i get quite a thrill from music videos and pride myself on knowing what's going on in the world of video countdowns. (aka: my little ked-wearing feet couldn't run fast enough to my bff's house every day after school in 5th grade to watch "informer" get #1 video on mtv for six straight weeks and i still watch vh1 and cmt top 20 every weekend. how else are we supposed to stay informed, i ask you? my hobby did take a brief hiatus, however, during my high school years. my dad saw a snippet of some "inappropriate" snoop dogg drug-pumping, gang-busting something or other and put a parental block on mtv for four years. so naturally, one awesome, God-shining-down-on-me night when i was a freshman, my MASSIVE SENIOR CRUSH came over to, um, study and he immediately turned on the television to mtv and saw that you had to put in a code to watch it and his hysterical laughter still gives me nightmares to this day. thanks, dad.)
well. aren't i feeling chatty. without further ado, here is the official music video for "last christmas" released in 1984. pure genius. consider it my christmas gift to you and yours.
they are so much, aren't they? i don't know one single woman who hasn't had a moment when they stop dead in their tracks and think...
oh my gosh. i am my mother.
like when i'm trying something on in a dressing room and absent-mindedly put my right foot out with pointed toe to get the "full effect"... or when i take on the accent of the person i'm talking to on the other end of the telephone... or everytime i fold and re-fold and re-fold until i get an extra straight hospital corner with my sheets while making my bed...
oh my gosh. i am my mother.
mother/daughter relationships are so complex, so fierce, so irrrational at times. it's like you're so intimately linked, sometimes you don't know what else to do but push each others buttons. the one word that comes to mind when i think about moms is unconditional. it doesn't matter what it is or who you're up against-- no one comes to bat for you like your mom. no one.
i think i've taken that fact for granted my whole life. it's one of those things where you don't know anything different, so you live in complete ignorance of the fact that not everyone has a built in cheering section for a mom. not everyone has a number they can call night or day, rain or shine, to laugh or cry, for any reason whatsoever and hear a voice on the other end that will go to any length possible to make things right; not expecting anything in return, just wanting to be whatever you need.
today's my mom's birthday. and it was a big one. it's one of those birthdays that you probably (whether you want to or not) will take a moment to think back over the years you've lived and take stock. i hope that as my mom looked back, she was filled with joy and happiness and such a sense of accomplishment... because the life she's lived so far has been one that has given her family a safe haven to love and laugh and grow and acheive and become anything they wanted to be because we knew she had our backs.
this video post is in honor of harper and mo-gan. but i'm most confident all will appreciate.
as always, thanks and happy BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY (in oprah voice) to k-rog, who is always on top of all things oprah and thinks to send me these priceless jewels.
well so i have a blog and it's thanksgiving and so it would probably be a good idea to come up with a what-i'm-most-thankful-for post this week. let me work on that. but today i am completely and utterly grateful for one thing. and that would be this picture i took at lunch and the darling angel in it.
"i heard a lot of playwrights used to end their stories with a funeral if it was a tragedy and a wedding if it was a comedy. i think that's why we make such a big deal out of weddings, because a wedding means life, and because the bride and groom are old enough to write a thank-you note for the serving spoons you gave them. and perhaps because you get to drink and dance, no matter how old you are. i only dance at weddings. i practically only drink at weddings, too, mostly because that's where i do my dancing. one of the things that give me hope is that, even with all the tragedy that happens in the world, the Bible says that when we get to heaven, there will be a wedding and there will be drinking and there will be dancing...
the next day, when i was walking with my cousin carol, she asked me where i thought my uncle was. she knew he was in heaven, but she wanted me to tell her what i thought he might be doing, what heaven was like. i told her i thought heaven was outside time, and perhaps we were already there with her father. she seemed to think that was a nice idea, but i could tell she wasn't comforted. and later that night i pictured uncle art, and i could see him in heaven, and he was sitting at a table and there was a celebration. there was dancing and bottles of wine, and there was music. i could see him at a wedding, and i realized that's what i should have told carol, that her dad was at a wedding." -A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
many of you guys probably received the email below, but i thought it couldn't hurt to put it out for all you bloggers out there!! this is an organization my friend ryan cabrerra got me involved in and i've got to say, it's turning out to be one of the most life-giving projects i've been apart of. if you've been looking for a way to support something that is actively changing lives for the better, look no further!
read below for more details...
so here's the deal. i never do this. fundraising is not my cup of tea and i have never been torn up by something so badly that it made me want to badger my friends and family for money. but then i was introduced to one home many hopes, completely fell in love with the idea, and now here i am on a team raising money for this sweet group of girls.
“one home many hopes” is a loving home for orphaned and abandoned girls in mtwapa, kenya. OHMH finds, rescues, houses, loves and educates former street children and equips them to be the future agents of change in their community. founded in 2007, OHMH will house and educate their children (currently 32 girls, ages 2 to 15) through college so they will one day be the women who will stop other children from suffering what they did.
the whole organization started when anthony mulongo, a kenyan man, came to mombosa (eastern kenya) to check up on a six year old girl and her ten month old brother whom he had met on a previous work assignment. they did not have a father, had lost their mother to AIDS, and were living on the streets. he eventually found the little girl... only to learn that days earlier her baby brother had died on her back while searching for food. anthony took the little girl in and one home many hopes began.
i heard that story and immediately thought- but by the grace of God, that could have been me. by His grace alone, i was born in the wealthiest country on the planet and into a family that has taken care of me from the moment i entered this earth and i never had to wonder about whether or not i had the newest name-brand jeans in my closet, much less where i would get food for myself and my baby brother at six years of age.
i know this isn't the greatest economy to ask for a donation and i completely get that not everyone can spare cash at the moment. but for those of you who would like the opportunity to give, just think about what it would be like if you had slept on a pile of trash as a child. or gone days without eating. or not taken advantage of the best education your parents could afford.
these little girls on the other side of the world don't need video monitors or polka-dotted shopping cart covers or high school musical dvds... they need the basic things you don't think twice about giving your own kids you have been blessed with. more specifically, they need us to help build them a home so they can continue to learn and love and develop and have a chance at life... just like we had.
so for the next TWO weeks, i am accepting donations on this website:
i only have $400 more to go, so that means that anything helps, no matter how big or small. 100% of the money i raise goes to build the living room of the first new home the girls have ever had.
and if it helps to have a face with the cause you are supporting, let me introduce you to the little girl i spoke about earlier. this is Gift. (yes, that is her God-given name... pretty perfect, huh?)
thanks to OHMH, she is a thriving teenager who is now mentoring the younger girls and living her life, looking forward to what is to come, just like us.
"when someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required." -luke 12:48
i love ya'll & thanks in advance,
sarah
i didn't have enough room on the email to include more pictures of the girls that are making up OHMH at the moment, so thank goodness for blogs! here are some more of the precious ladybugs you are supporting...
Annette
Saomu & Riziki
Riziki
They are clearly darling. And you are darling for helping any way you can.
don't love halloween. don't love to be scared. not too big of a dresser-upper. ghosts, fake blood, fangs, plastic masks... i just don't see the appeal. candy... now candy i love. so sitting on my porch passing out treats to little neighbor friends (one for you, more than one for me) is a perfect way to spend a late october evening. except no one ever goes door to door anymore because that's the world we live in, so all the kiddies go to their schools or churches and all that is left are the 16 year old boys that look at you like, "give me the good stuff or i'll rob you." it's irritating and i'd just assume skip over this weight watchers nightmare of a holiday.
i'm pretty sure i'm the biggest all hallow's eve grinch in all the land and am completely fine with it, except recently three things have started to warm my heart up to the idea of giving this year's festivities one more chance.
#1: the pumpkin princess...
#2: the smiley grim reaper skeletor...
#3: LCT has promised to dress up as...
while we're on the subject of freaks, let me share with you a little something i learned this weekend:
ghosts apparently exist in real life.
and all you have to do is tell "them" you're not interested and they won't bother you again.
i know this because a fabulous peach of a person did my hair this past weekend and as we were sitting around talking, the subject of her being woken up by ghosts several times in her life came up. as nuts as it was to hear, there is no reason she should be making this information up. she has crystal clear memories of each time, along with more other-worldly tid bits i won't even go into right now. then- THEN- my friends (whose house we were sitting in at that very moment and whose names i will not state, except to say one of them loves oprah and dancing alone in his room) launch into the fact that there is a ghost in THEIR house as well! and if that's not bad enough- the reason they know they have one is because every time they leave the house, "something" uses their facilities and doesn't flush and there is no explanation for what else it could be. seriously. as i'm typing this out, i feel like ashton kutcher is about to come out of my screen and stamp "punk'd" on my forehead- but these normal, rational people really believe ghostly spirits are behind these weird unexplainables. is this for real? do lots of people think ghosts exist and are among us? i have said "i'm not interested" to the air more times then i care to share over the past two days and i'm not going to stop anytime soon. no one wants to know what will happen if i wake up from a sound sleep, only to find a set of red haired twins taunting me or an overflowing toilet.
did i ever tell you i spent a glorious week in colorado this summer? what? i didn't? how did i leave that out? i am so very lucky to have been able to go up there and play pretty often throughout the years and i'm hard pressed to think about anything more heavenly than breckenridge in the summer. a few must stops: soup from mi zuppa, bike rides through the mountains, honey on pizza crusts at eric's, jayme's, and even though i am not what you would call pro nature walks, i still find myself huffing and puffing up some sort of hike trail at some point every time. oh and the weather is always perfectly sunny and the cool, dry air provides the most fantastic of all hair days you can only achieve 9,600 feet in the air.
i was thinking about that trip this morning when jim spencer told me it was going to be 90 degrees here in austin today.
so then that got me looking through pictures and reminiscing and i found a snapshot of this adorable church we stumbled on when i turned on a random side street leaving town one afternoon...
i wish you could walk up and get a whiff of those purple flowers by the door for yourself. and see the carvings around the windows with the hand-painted detail. how precious is this little jewel, tucked into this quaint mountain town, i ask you? yep. pretty precious. i'm just sayin.... precious.
and i realize i am a very late participant to this whole polaroid program bandwagon, but it is still so fun! k & co was kind enough to pass the link along, and while i was researching and trying to figure out how to do it, i ran across a thursday internet sussy for you all...
ahhhhhh. there you go. now don't say i never gave you anything.
hope you and yours have a fun texas river rivalry weekend!!!! i know i will... i'm headed out to see miss blakey girl, do 100% girly things with her mom, and hear yum yum preach on sunday am. i will of course bring back a full report.
it all started when she picked me up in that blue explorer (as i was not old enough to even have a permit...) and we drove around all night, listening to "crossroads" with the windows down. close to fifteen years later not much has changed. except the explorer gave way to a 4-runner blaring some odd, alternative band (did our parents think we were nuts?), which then eventually turned into a land rover- windows still down- jamming to nelly's "ride wit me"... or then there was the tahoe constantly streaming justin. now there are different cars and different songs and we're busy, old ladies who don't have time to drive around aimlessly... which is sad. luckily she's still her and i'm still me and here we still are. so cheers to my freckly-faced, four-eyed friend who i love dearly.
my brother is getting married in november and since wedding pictures last a lifetime, i decided to do weight watchers for a few weeks... just to get me back to neutral after a summer full of queso, gourmet river sandys, and cupcakes of any kind. so the whole point of the program is to... um... watch your weight by being mindful of what you put in your mouth at all times. judging by my actions at the grocery store yesterday,i'm pretty sure halloween is not going to be a stellar weight watching season for me. enter exhibit a:
i walked into h-e-b, immediately smelled the brach's marshmallow punkins from aisles away, made a bee-line to them, opened the bag right then and there, and proceeded to eat a countless amount while combing the place for my "healthful" snacks and meals for the week. i don't even know what to say to explain myself. other than i'm so glad i'm doing ww online and don't have to show up to one of those meetings where i'd have to confess to a roomful of people who know what the exact point value of a mess like this is. as my sister so eloquently pointed out while looking at the ingredients on the back of the brach's bag, "these are made out of... wax."
so i'm going to try to move onward and upward from this slip-up. but WHY do i live in this land of excess that pushes candy in my face from every angel all of the time, especially during this next stinking month?!?! what happened to the good old days of your only option for meals being cabbage soup and the occasional baked bread banquet (a la charlie's family pre-chocolate factory)?? a couple of days ago my grandpa told me that when he was growing up (very poor during the great depression), they couldn't afford cakes and cookies, but his mother would make them vinegar pie for special occasions. that is something i could get behind, simply because even though i have the sweetest sweet tooth this side of the mississippi, i would never under any circumstance stoop as low as to eat pie filled with a vinegar concoction. (sidenote: yesssssss, this is the grandpa who also saw a snake hiding in the tall grass beside my ankle when i was little and he swooped down, picked that poisonous six foot serpent up by its tail and swung it around his head several times, until he got it good and dizzy, then wacked it's head upside the tree next to us. saved my life. and i'll never forget it.)
all that to say, to make up for my non-existent self control, z and i made a very delicious and low pernt meal last night that i must pass on... this of course came off little kitchen's blog and what a treat it was. parm and herb encrusted chicken to make you sit up and slap your momma! oh, i guess i should also mention that if you buy three pounds of chicken breasts at central market this week, you get a free central market organic salad dressing AND bottle of bbq sauce. you also have to figure out what to do with three pounds of chicken breasts... so this is a great recipe to try out with the influx of chicks you may/may not have after falling for this in-store "coupon". (another sidenote: little kitchen is currently giving away a free crepe pan, so click over and take full advantage. we at c&p just love lk.)
well, so, cheers to brach's punkins, candy corn and the always elusive indian candy corn. you may have won out yesterday, but i know where you hide and will prevail............ oh, who am i kidding. i'll see you next week. aisle 5, left side, 2nd shelf down. miss you already.
i'm a big fan of the movie in her shoes. it's about two sisters and their lives together... the ups, the downs, the good, the bad, the laughing, the crying, the history, the protectiveness, the eyerolling, the loving, the hating, the mind reading, the memories, the irritations, the similarities, the differences... the unbreakable bond shared between girls who- no matter how hard they might fight it- are connected in a way that is impossible to be connected to anyone else. if you have a sister, you know exactly what i mean when i say: you have her for life. it's more than a friendship, it's more than being related... it's... it's hard to define. when i try to put into words what my little sister means to me, the last scene of in her shoes always comes to mind. the older sister (toni collette) is getting married and the younger sister (cameron diaz) does the special reading at the wedding... needless to say, 'ol waterworks myers has a hard time with this one. so in honor of z and her birthday today, i thought i'd share this poem with you...
i carry your heart with me
by E. E. Cummings i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
i love you, lindsey! and i carry your heart in my heart... whether you like it or not :)
i do. i do, i do, i do. which is kind of odd because i have only been there the one time. it was last december, right before christmas, and to say it was everything i had built it up to be in my head would be an understandment. it was MORE magical, MORE unbelievable and MORE than i dreamed. i love new york and cannot wait to go back.
my obsession with this city and all things big apple led me to almost run up and kiss the movie screen while z and i were at the arbor waiting for the september issue to begin last sunday afternoon. have you all seen the preview for this?!?!
i did not plan this, but my two favorite songs over the past couple months have the same theme of being "found." i sing them all the time... in the shower, driving around, when i'm running, before i go to bed... i freaking love these songs. it wasn't until the other day that i started to think about what the words actually mean. things like:
All my security, my destiny What lies ahead is found in you All my hopes and dreams, my thoughts unseen All my wants are found in you What I dread and fear, all that weighs me down All my trust is found in You You’re my sustaining breath, all that gives me strength All life-giving is found in You ("found" by aaron ivey. d-load it!)
or
When the world has fallen out from under me I'll be found in you, still standing Every fear and accusation under my feet when time and space are through I'll be found in you ("shadowfeet" by brooke fraser)
what does that even mean to be "found"? i've never thought about it. other than the one time when i was little and got turned around playing in the ladies clothing racks at dillard's, i don't think i've felt utterly and truly lost too many times in my life, so the idea of being found is a little foreign to me personally. i know this isn't true for a lot of people, but by the grace of our Maker, i was raised in a family who has loved me and wanted me from the minute i was brought into this world. and as luck would have it, my father's profession was one that enabled me to be inside the doors of the church more than outside of them. so i've never not known where i came from or who my Savior was or felt like one of those wandering sheep painted in all those pictures that hung up on the walls at vbs.
except, actually, lost is exactly what i am. and who really isn't, for that matter? no one i know has gone through a whole life before and is now back for round two. no one- no matter if you're 5 or 55- is experiencing a day that they have already experienced. we might think we have a grasp on what we're doing and where we're headed, but in actuality we have no control over the majority of what falls out of the sky and into our laps on an hourly basis. at best, we work hard at being educated so we can make the wisest guesses we can when it comes to forks in the road, stances on deep issiues, attitudes in the middle of hard situations, or even whether or not to spend that extra $3 on 100% organic or just screw it and get the h-e-b brand.
i am so stinking lost. and i didn't even know it.
that thought could make one feel pretty down and out if you really sat on it and let it sink in. and who does depression hurt? right. the dog. who you never walk anymore. and the spouse. whose hand you won't hold anymore. we get it, cymbalta- give it a rest. but how absolutely, undeniably fantastic is it that we have hope and peace and the take-it-to-the-bank faithfulness of our Lord who is the ONLY one who HAS been through it all before and loves us so much that He'll do it again with us, for us, because of us. He's just right there. whatever i need to say or feel or do or work through... He's there. He's found me, therefore being lost is no longer on the table.
for a girl who didn't even know she lacked in this department until very recently, this reality brings me more comfort and relief and gratitude then i even know how to express.
i think sometimes God gives us little Winks in life as a way to show us his principles on our terms in ways we can understand. so while i have been belting out these "found" songs all summer and thinking about what that can mean in my life, i had an additional Wink that showed me in living color just how wonderful being found really is.
(bear with me. i don't think this is too much of a strech.)
do you have a friend in your life who just gets you? it doesn't matter how long it's been since you have seen them or what all has transpired in the in between time, anytime you are fortunate to be together for a face to face, you feel like you're home. you feel fully you. you feel like you could say anything or do anything and this person wouldn't blink an eye. they would laugh or cry with you through anything and always always accept and cherish you because they know you. do you have someone like that in your life? if not, email me and i will be your person. because really, it is the best.
and i know we all have our daily people... essential lifelines for all the ins and outs... your mate or your roommate or significant other or your bff. those people are clearly indespensible and maybe i'll be inspired to write a melodious blog of love to them someday. but this gets you person is different. maybe they live out of town and you don't get to see each other very often. or maybe they are just super busy and all over the place and can rarely be pinned down. but when you DO pin them down or when you ARE in the same town, in the same booth at a mexi resturaunt with them... it's exactly what you needed, isn't it? and you wouldn't rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment. so much to say, so much to go over, so much to laugh about, so much to bounce off one another. nothing awkward or forced or contrived. just pure friendship. a pure friendship that makes your belief in the God of the universe all the more real because something like this isn't a coinscidence. they are in your life on purpose because God knew that you needed to know what it tangibly feels like to be found. so He gave you this gift of your gets you person.
driving home last night after seeing my gets me person, all of this hit me and i became so overwhelmed with how awesome and personal God is when He wants to teach me something. when it boils down to it, HE is clearly the only person i must be found in... but my little tea cup just runneth over with these earthly extras that claim me as well.
so below is the video to the brooke fraser ditty that i love, for all those interested. and before you go thinking that i only listen to music with deep spiritual implications on my life, i will also post the video to the song i have had on repeat for the last week and a half. shameful.
Tomorrow is the day. Move in day. To reiterate, Petikei and I have shared almost everything in our 14 year friendship, but never the four walls of a house... so this should be something else.
We have been emailing back and forth this week about who has what, or what we need to buy/update and I thought instead of me trying to explain what I'm getting myself into, I thought I would give you direct quotes from LCT herself.
Regarding the shelving that is in both of our closets:
It's that container store elfa stuff that is all removable and adjustable.... I was freaking out originally and now am not nearly as worried...
Regarding bathroom etiquette:
Also, do you want me to quit brushing my teeth in the shower/bath- I developed this habit several months ago and can easily quit, but thought maybe you did this too?!
Regarding bathroom decor:
If you're cool with my shower curtain, let's roll with it... or I was even thinking about getting a simple one and getting "Cankels and Petikei" monogrammed- thoughts?
Regarding Move In Day:
I left some frozen grapes in the freezer for us as chill bites for saturday- how many points are they?! I like to think of them as flavored water?!
I know many of you have missed hearing from LCT lately, so hopefully this will give you a little something to hold you tight before her next blog entry. And if you're in the area tomorrow, come by for some chill bites!!
More prepared for this monstrositythat is closer to Six Flags than a home decor store. Do people go there on a regular basis or is this a place to weave your aerodynamic cart around for a special trip for a 99 cent potato peeler once every 10 years?
I is also for I was completely confused. From the store maps, to the custom granite, to the weird meatballs, to the warehouse at the end... my mind is still overwhelmed 24 hours later.
There was of course a slight issiue that made the whole trip just that much more challenging. While walking thru the VERY FIRST ROOM (there are about 500), I tripped and broke my flip flop, making it unwearable. Thankfully the floors are really slick, so I just drug my shoe underneath my foot the whole time, not being able to pick up my foot or else I'd lose my shoe and the herd of super saver shoppers would completely flatten me. YES, this did wreck havok on my cankle, thanks for asking. And YES, wagging this extremity behind me the entire time did have a very club-foot feel to it, which is always awesome.
The best part was after we went thru the entire store, got our $1 ice cream cones (only 1 weight watcher point!) and were headed out into the parking lot, I realized I couldn't scoot my foot along the pavement like I could inside, so I just walked barefoot... until I realized the ground was a LITERAL 128 degrees. So that wouldn't work. But this did:
Action Shot:
thanks for the lift, jay-bird. never dull moment on a lea family outing.
also- huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge highlight to my life last night. my mom and i had a date night to go see none other than...
oh it was just SO GOOD!!! who needs NYC... we like it when the stars come to us. the woman who played elphaba deserves an oscar, tony, grammy, dundie- you name it- she is THAT good. what a TREAT to get to hang with my mom and escape to emerald city for a few hours. thanks lutie & roxie :) seeing that makes me wonder if i completely missed my life's calling and should be on stage somewhere. surely i've mentioned i played molly in the vive les arts production of annie for the killeen community theater when i was 7? i was hoping the wicked cast would come out to meet and greet after the performance so i could tell them alllllll about my stage history. and then they'd immediately percieve my natural talent and ask me to fill in as elphie's understudy and then she'd mention she's bored and wanted to quit anyway, so she's just going to give the part to me and off i would go into the broadway sunset. too bad that cast didn't come out.......
one of my bff's (petikei) & i started this because no one ever told us what life was really like & when we discovered the "real world" for ourselves, we quickly learned to laugh rather than cry when things didn't necessarily go our way. we thought we could pass along some funny stories & such because some of this is just too good to keep to ourselves. now i (cankle) am embarking on the biggest life surprise of all: moving from austin to new york city! so stayed tuned as we all know i'm bound to continue to walk into my fair share of wet cement construction sites along the way...
